“I Don’t Want to Talk About It.” - Working with (Covert) Male Depression and Other Assorted Issues

Working with men, especially in couples therapy, can be challenging. Often times in therapy, men behave in a stoic, sarcastic, even aggressive manner. In individual therapy, this difficulty is sometimes interpreted as ‘resistance’ which can lead to stagnation and termination of therapy. In couples therapy, this challenge can lead to a unconscious coalition of the therapist with the female partner. Yet underneath this rough exterior there is an array of other challenges, traumas and underlying issues. In this session we’ll address mainly the topic of the under-diagnosed phenomenon of the covert male depression, as first described by Terrance Real. We will see how this covert depression begins through psychological patriarchy, how it evolves and manifests through a limited relational and emotional repertoire, and its long-term (negative) effects on their intimate relationship.

Practical techniques and interventions will be given on how to enlist, evoke and deepen emotional presence and emotion with male clients. We will discuss different ways in which therapists of both genders can lean into the male psyche.