Your question touches on many important aspects. Shared values are very important and, in my opinion, a fundamental premise when choosing a life partner. Interestingly, Gottman’s assessment questions about shared values are not about hobbies, but about beliefs and goals regarding finances, housework and childcare, spirituality, religion, ethics, and also having fun together. According to Gottman’s research, friendship is by far the most important foundation of a happy and long-lasting relationship. It means being interested in your partner and continuously updating your knowledge of their wishes, experiences, dreams, and changes over time. Enjoying the same things and having shared hobbies is certainly a plus, but according to Gottman’s research, a good marriage does not depend on it. Over time, we all change, and a strong friendship can help partners support each other’s changes, growth, and dreams. This is part of a process of differentiation and individuation that often follows the first years of a relationship, when the bond tends to be more symbiotic and based on how similar we are. When both partners share the highs and lows of life and feel supported throughout this individuation process, the relationship deepens and tends to become more pleasurable and fruitful. Symbiotic expectations and the dream of an ideal relationship gradually give way to a more supportive, realistic, and interesting one. And perhaps most importantly, friendship is not something that either exists or does not exist. Like intimacy, it can be cultivated and strengthened throughout the years if both partners remain curious about each other and continue investing in the relashionship. Eager to hear more opinions about it!