Given what we know today, it appears likely that unresolved trauma, whether minor or major, plays a role in the persistence of chronic pain, through mechanisms of kindling (a self-perpetuating phenomenon of neural excitation) and priming (in which the brain readies itself to respond a certain way), that cause us to continually brace ourselves against the threat that caused the pain or the internal threat of pain itself. This is great news, because it means that to the extent that the trauma is worked through at the body/mind level, the pain should either disappear or lessen.
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How can we as caregivers of elderly relatives, whether they are local or across the world, navigate the realities of this pandemic? How do we adjust to this “new normal” in our lives with responsibilities as adult children to our elderly loved ones? How can we cope with the inevitable guilt that arises from not being able to fully meet our family’s needs during this time of crisis?
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Dreams bring images and messages from the depths of our soul. It is our psyche’s way of compensating for our conscious life, which is only one-half of our life-story. Our dream life brings a richness and ebb and flow to our daily existence. Likewise when we are in touch with our unconscious, there is a flow to our daily existence much like the ebb and flow of the waves of the sea. Our unconscious helps bring us light and creativity and vitality.
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It's getting close to Pesach and I'm thinking: what do I want to focus on at my seder table with my adolescent children who can now carry intelligent conversations and think about things in a deeper and more complex way? Afterall, our exodus from Egypt is not just a historical event and with kids, the way to facilitate spiritual connection is through relatable modern-day experiences. The obvious answer would be to focus on what each of us finds ourselves enslaved to in our lives and how we can access our personal freedom, but we've been down that road before and it hadn't hit home the way I'd want a good juicy introspective theme to do. So, I came up with IMPERFECTION
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The half-full glass is the antidote to the half-empty one.
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Many couples think that they just need to be able to find an agreement, a compromise, a solution to their disagreements. And that couples' therapy is about solving their disagreements. In fact, for many years this is how couples' therapists approached therapy as well. Unfortunately, this approach failed and statistically, their success rates were very low. But the field of couples therapy research has changed dramatically. In the last 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Leslie Greenberg, and Dr. Sue Johnson, to name a few major names have made real breakthroughs, having studied many thousands of couples, watching them closely in action, on live cameras, video, behind one-way glasses and otherwise. One of Gottman's findings is that about 70% of our disagreements as couples, never get solved! And this is true not only for failing couples but for the very successful couples as well! So, if solving problems is not what leads to success, what does? The answer is that as a therapist, I can help them reach such an emotional bond that makes the issue of solving problems redundant, a non-issue. Once they have this bond, they will not necessarily need me to solve their problems. Find out more inside.
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Those of us granted life have to face the loss of the most profound of all our relationships. The relationship a person has with a parent, affects every stage of our life. Therefore, losing a parent at each stage in life has unique challenges.
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People often ask me: how it is possible to celebrate amid deep suffering and life-altering traumatic events that shatter any sense of safety or security and leave us in confusion and the unknown? Dread and Hope, though seemingly contradictory, can coexist in a complex dance that shapes the human experience. Here's how...
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How mindfulness-based practices help you navigate overwhelm and pain, and come home to yourself.
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Is feeling vulnerable a good thing? Many of us see it as a sign of weakness, as we’re not being good enough!! We’re afraid of not being seen by others as the “perfect” mother/father, spouse, child, worker, etc.
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Covid brings with it feelings of anxiety, stress and uncertainty. Though children deal with emotions in different ways, your child has been faced with school closures, cancelled events or separation from friends, they are going to need to feel loved and supported now more than ever.
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Life is full of good moments, but it isn’t always a smooth ride. There are many ups and downs, such as love and loss, success and struggle, happiness and heartbreak, and joy and trauma. Furthermore, none of us have a road map or a chapter index for our life journeys. Through the next 5 blogs, I will offer a step-by-step science-based approach to help you boost your resilience.
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When we choose to marry, we often don't know everything. There are often things that are missing. After all, we haven’t seen how our partner behaves in a variety of circumstances, many of which they haven’t yet encountered. But more importantly we don’t always know ourselves. So we search for things to worry about in our partner in hopes of having some level of control. Not wanting to come to terms with the fact that we can't control the other. However, there is one element of control, and this lies within ourselves.
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Couples occupy the same spaces, literally and figuratively, and it’s inevitable that they will clash or disappoint each other from time to time. When that happens, an apology is a major part of making amends. Here are some of the most common mistakes made when apologizing.
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When we hear the term “Separation Anxiety,” we often think of young children off to pre-school, crying because they don’t want their parents to leave. But Separation Anxiety can come any time your child leaves the nest — especially at college age. And it’s not just limited to the child — parents can also experience Separation Anxiety when their child leaves them.
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Humans are incredibly resilient. I am constantly in awe of the people that I speak to, in my role as a bereavement therapist, who are creating amended rituals to help them cope with their painful losses. There is no correct answer to our predicament. It feels unfair to be deprived of the comfort of our traditions that help guide and heal mourners. However, we can try to creatively engage in meaningful adaptations of our rituals during this crisis to help us process our grief.
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When food comands you to eat and you feel compelled to obey, even against your own better judgement, know that there are powerful belief systems working within you. This inner compulsion is coming from your subconscious mind. The good news is, with subconscious reprogramming your conscious mind can become your decisive force.
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If you feel ashamed in relation to any part of your trauma, you deserve to connect with others and experience the relief that comes with dissipating shame.
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Something was comin' there way and it was no good... Shira and David find themselves in a vicious cycle that they are both trapped in for years. They fall back to their default coping styles which continue failing them. In fact, we all fall back to these coping styles...
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During challenging times, it is important to encourage children to express how they are feeling. Children often have difficulty articulating their emotions verbally- communicating through art or play is a great alternative. This can serve as a cathartic release, empower them, and help them process new circumstances.
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Learn how teens experience and manage trauma and stress, and how these experiences interfere with healthy psychological development. We will discuss how trauma shows up not only in mood and behavior, but also in body regulation, attention, and family dynamics.
This free webinar is for parents of adolescents and helping professionals who work with teens.
