Fundamentals of Trauma Recovery, Part 8/8

By tackling pieces of your recovery to tackle that are ever-so-small, you ensure your success; this will build greater self-confidence and foundations for each further success.

Re-Frame Rejection so You Can Successfully Move Forward in Relationships

I have been rejected more times than I can count. By friends, boys, jobs, my kids, you name it… One of my most memorable rejections happened while in 6th grade. My English teacher encouraged us to write a journal, which I kept "hidden" in my desk. In it, I wrote all about a crush I had on a boy named Joey, a fellow classmate. I forgot that in the morning we sat at one desk and in the afternoon another. A fellow classmate found my journal and proceeded to read that very entry aloud to the entire class during recess.

The Flip Side of Stress

Research has shown that when we are able to regulate our emotions in a stressful situation we are able to not only feel calmer but to also become more collaborative, creative and thrive.

The CYCLE: The Key to Rebuilding Your Marriage

Something was comin' there way and it was no good... Shira and David find themselves in a vicious cycle that they are both trapped in for years. They fall back to their default coping styles which continue failing them. In fact, we all fall back to these coping styles...

Hope and Healing: From Warsaw to Jerusalem

It was amazing how the strength of the comradery of the women enabled them to shift their view of themselves and their experience of MRKH from one in which they were hard done by and less of a woman, to feeling special. They were able to explore the possibilities that having MRKH presented to them. They also recognized the hope and possibilities that lay within their situation, on many levels. When the women started the workshop, many were nervous and fidgety. By the end, they were sitting up straight with big smiles on their faces and hope in their eyes.

What I learned was that we can all be hope experts, as we have all experienced life challenges. The more we recognize the challenges that we endured, remove the shame connected to those challenges and celebrate the accomplishments, the better able we can help others feel more hopeful too.

Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You – Part TWO

In part two of my blog, “Worry! Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You”, I am going to present to you some general recommendations and thoughts about dealing with worry.

How to Track Anxiety and Help Resolve It

We need our ‘signal’ anxiety, because otherwise, we’d be more vulnerable to danger.

Embracing Transitions: Finding the MAGIC PAUSE Moment

Autumn is the season of change.  I grew up in the Midwest, Chicago.    First there…

Resilience Series Part 1

Life is full of good moments, but it isn’t always a smooth ride. There are many ups and downs, such as love and loss, success and struggle, happiness and heartbreak, and joy and trauma. Furthermore, none of us have a road map or a chapter index for our life journeys. Through the next 5 blogs, I will offer a step-by-step science-based approach to help you boost your resilience.

Three Ways That Differentiation- Based Couples Therapy Changed My Life

The more that my sense of self is reflected to me by others the more I make myself vulnerable to be manipulated and gaslit. If I want to be loved, liked, appreciated by the other person more than I listen to myself then I set myself up for trouble.

Grief for the Loss of our Parents

Those of us granted life have to face the loss of the most profound of all our relationships. The relationship a person has with a parent, affects every stage of our life. Therefore, losing a parent at each stage in life has unique challenges.

Showing Up Just The Way You Are

As we approach the holiday season and celebrations are upon us we can feel very…

Lesson from a Construction Site: Don't Dismiss the Scaffolding in Your Relationships

Marriages, like buildings, sometimes need scaffolding - temporary, unglamorous interventions - that provide the platform needed to repair damage and build a strong, lasting structure.

Resilience Series Part 3

In the previous blog, we discussed strategies to manage our emotional reactivity. Although similar, regulating emotions isn’t quite the same as managing how we react emotionally. Whereas managing emotional reactivity works like a light switch that can dim the frequency and intensity of our emotional reactions, regulating emotions, on the other hand, involves altering our emotional responses to situations. We might consider regulating emotions as our ability to adjust our own emotional states. Sometimes we do this by increasing our positive emotions, whereas other situations are better handled by decreasing our negative emotions. How...

Encopresis: A Four-Pronged Treatment Approach

Encopresis, more commonly called “soiling” or fecal incontinence, refers to the involuntary passage of feces. Typically, this condition results from chronic constipation, but it can also be triggered by emotional issues. Encopresis, which has a 9% occurrence rate worldwide, is not considered to be a medical condition until a child is 4 years old. While encopresis is often very distressing to both the child and the family, it is treatable. The earlier treatment begins, the better the outcome. In my years of private practice as an art therapist, I have successfully treated many children with encopresis using the following four-pronged treatment approach.

Shining Light on Feelings 

When we are able to just be with whatever we are feeling and experiencing, without judgement or an agenda we bring light

The Connection Between ADHD and Anxiety Disorders or Depression

Several theories exist to explain the higher incidence of anxiety disorders or depression among individuals with ADHD. One theory presumes that because the same neurobiological systems that control attention also control mood, it is reasonable to assume that the neurological causes of ADHD also cause anxiety disorders or depression. Another theory posits that anxiety disorders or depression are an outcome of living with ADHD, especially if attention difficulties have gone undiagnosed or untreated for many years, often leading to chronic feelings of failure, frustration, disappointment and being overwhelmed.

Vulnerability Just Ahead

Is feeling vulnerable a good thing?   Many of us see it as a sign of weakness, as we’re not being good enough!!  We’re afraid of not being seen by others as the “perfect” mother/father, spouse, child, worker, etc.   

Valuable Tips to Manage Pain

Given what we know today, it appears likely that unresolved trauma, whether minor or major, plays a role in the persistence of chronic pain, through mechanisms of kindling (a self-perpetuating phenomenon of neural excitation) and priming (in which the brain readies itself to respond a certain way), that cause us to continually brace ourselves against the threat that caused the pain or the internal threat of pain itself. This is great news, because it means that to the extent that the trauma is worked through at the body/mind level, the pain should either disappear or lessen.

Why Staying Together for the Kids Isn’t Doing Anyone Any Favours

Micki Lavin-Pell, is a marriage and family therapist of 15+ years, married to Gaby Pell for nearly 18 years +4 kids.   She specializes in helping couples navigate challenges at different stages of their lives and deal with attachment issues that often plague relationships using Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. She co-hosts a podcast featured on www.Jewishcoffeehouse.com, called Real Relationships and can be found on her website www.mickilavinpell.co.il