In trauma recovery, being mindful of your personal gauge will inform you what’s helpful, what is not, what soothes, what activates, what feels good, what is uncomfortable. Listening to your gauge is essential in deciding what’s the best for your recovery.
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By tackling pieces of your recovery to tackle that are ever-so-small, you ensure your success; this will build greater self-confidence and foundations for each further success.
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Micki Lavin-Pell, is a marriage and family therapist of 15+ years, married to Gaby Pell for nearly 18 years +4 kids. She specializes in helping couples navigate challenges at different stages of their lives and deal with attachment issues that often plague relationships using Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. She co-hosts a podcast featured on www.Jewishcoffeehouse.com, called Real Relationships and can be found on her website www.mickilavinpell.co.il
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“Who is your enemy?” said the Buddha. “Mind is your enemy. Not one can harm you more than a mind untrained. Who is your friend? No one can assist you and care for you better than your mind well-trained. Not even the most loving mother or father.”
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If you feel ashamed in relation to any part of your trauma, you deserve to connect with others and experience the relief that comes with dissipating shame.
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I have been rejected more times than I can count. By friends, boys, jobs, my kids, you name it… One of my most memorable rejections happened while in 6th grade. My English teacher encouraged us to write a journal, which I kept "hidden" in my desk. In it, I wrote all about a crush I had on a boy named Joey, a fellow classmate. I forgot that in the morning we sat at one desk and in the afternoon another. A fellow classmate found my journal and proceeded to read that very entry aloud to the entire class during recess.
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This piece traces the evolution of relational therapy and shows why its emphasis on attunement, authenticity, and connection is especially effective in treating eating disorders. It reveals how the therapeutic relationship itself becomes a corrective emotional experience, allowing clients to access and heal the deeper wounds beneath disordered eating.
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When beginning a new job if you are constantly worried about failing and feeling like you need to prove yourself at every turn that can cause significant stress which will most likely hinder performance. Rather than engendering positive relationships and being open to learning, the fear of someone discovering shortcomings will be so pervasive that it will be very difficult to acclimate to the new position effectively. On the other hand, a growth mindset which encourages you to learn from others, think about mistakes as essential to the process of learning and acclimating and being open to a new way of doing things will lead you to have more joy and energy, feel less anxious, and make a good impression on your colleagues.
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Contrary to popular wisdom, going to sleep angry is often the best strategy for couples in conflict. Time and rest allow emotions to settle and perspective to return, making successful reconciliation far more likely than late-night attempts when both parties are exhausted and agitated.
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We need our ‘signal’ anxiety, because otherwise, we’d be more vulnerable to danger.
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The more we turn towards the pain and express unmet needs, and not avoid them, the less anxious we will be.
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Peter Drucker wisely stated, "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." This article delves into that profound truth, illustrating how discerning unspoken messages can transform our interactions. We explore the critical skill of understanding the true questions behind the words, from veiled pleas for help to the silent cries hidden in seemingly innocuous inquiries. Discover why truly effective communication requires listening not just to what is spoken, but to the deeper needs and concerns that remain unsaid.
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As a body-mind practitioner and clinical psychologist, I have found that incorporating principles of Somatic Experiencing (SE) into my practice has provided me with a whole new way of helping people move on with their lives when stressed, anxious, depressed, traumatized, or otherwise in pain (including living with chronic pain). So what then, is Somatic Experiencing, and how does it work?
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Finding meaning, creating purpose, and gaining control is a recipe that results in greater resilience and fuller recovery.
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If your spouse suffers from a mental health issue or addiction, there are some concrete steps you can take to improve your life. These are the first pieces of building your relationship.
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Following the recent rocket attacks, many parents have asked me how best to respond to their children and help them manage their concerns and fears. Just as we have all heard the booms and seen the news reports, our children too are well aware of what is happening. As parents it is our job to support them through these difficult times. Here are some recommendations that can help.
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Physical pain in the body that is produced by our brain is identical, whether there is an actual structural injury in the body or whether the brain mistakenly believes there is a structural injury in the body. To offer an analogy, a smoke alarm that sounds because it is broken makes the exact loud and very real noise as a smoke alarm that sounds because there is smoke from an actual fire.
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Self-quarantine is a situation that can be very stressful and challenging on many levels to oneself and one's relationships. This post examines the areas which may be challenging in an attempt to legitimize those difficulties. I offer the opportunity to reach out and seek ONLINE help in order to get through this trying period in a positive way.
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Marriages, like buildings, sometimes need scaffolding - temporary, unglamorous interventions - that provide the platform needed to repair damage and build a strong, lasting structure.
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How can we as caregivers of elderly relatives, whether they are local or across the world, navigate the realities of this pandemic? How do we adjust to this “new normal” in our lives with responsibilities as adult children to our elderly loved ones? How can we cope with the inevitable guilt that arises from not being able to fully meet our family’s needs during this time of crisis?
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Learn how teens experience and manage trauma and stress, and how these experiences interfere with healthy psychological development. We will discuss how trauma shows up not only in mood and behavior, but also in body regulation, attention, and family dynamics.
This free webinar is for parents of adolescents and helping professionals who work with teens.
